Guilt and Grace

We all trekked to the courthouse early this morning for my angel's Conservatorship hearing. Praise in that all went quickly and smoothly and I was granted all the powers that were requested.

While we were in the halls waiting for our turn, though, we witnessed several men in chains being escorted through the courthouse. One of them struck me because he was not alone with the deputy. A woman I assumed to be his mother was walking along with him. A few minutes later she came walking back down the hall alone, visibly emotional, and hurried out the nearest exit. Then it occured to me that each of those men was a son, a grandson, a nephew, a brother, and maybe even a husband to someone who loved them and thought they were special. Someone who was worried about them. Someone who was hoping that they would be able to turn their lives around.

After we were home and having lunch, the children and I had a chance to talk about those men. In chains. Guarded and looked upon with suspicion. "Be sure your sin will find you out." Numbers 32:23

We talked about how they were someone's family. I told them that the world may look upon these men as guilty and worthy of being punished. The world may also look at us and think we are a nice family who does nice things. Innocent, if you will. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD." Isaiah 55:8

How would the LORD look at us? "And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually." Genesis 6:5

In the eyes of the LORD, we are all guilty. All worthy of judgement and punishment and death. We, each of us, are walking around in chains. Except when we are seen through the blood that was shed for us. The blood of the sacrifice. The blood of the Lamb. Jesus Christ.

I am thankful that this issue of conservatorship for my son is behind me.

But my eyes fill with tears of joy as I am brought to my knees in gratitude and thanksgiving for something of much greater worth -- the salvation and grace I have received from the LORD my God.

The Fun of Corking

Now if you are at all like me, you'll read 'corking' and think, "Huh?"

That's what I thought when I first saw this book during my library seach for easy knitting projects. And as usual, if I want to know something, I go to my knowledgeable Uncle Google. And as usual, he gave me some great information as well as some really cool links and ideas!

Corking, also known as a knitting spool, knitting Nancy, or knitting knobby is simply knitting a tube using pegs and a blunt needle instead of knitting needles. So we got the book from the library - it's cool and fun and just FULL of crafts and projects and toys that you can make with your tubes - and daughter promptly discovered it and decided that she wanted to make a small spool, like the one on the cover, so she could make a rope. (She loves to tie things up!) Younger son saw us making hers and he decided he'd like one, too! By the time we were done making younger sons, middle son wanted in on all this knitting action as well.

They are pretty easy to make. All you need is something round and hollow, 1" cloth tape, finishing nails (they are straight with no heads to speak of), yarn and a yarn needle or smaller crochet hook.

We used a toilet paper tube, a 15 oz. can and an large yogurt container. For the toilet paper tube, you cut it along the side, roll it until it is doubled (till the cut sides are even when rolled double-thick - does that make sense?), and tape it closed with the cloth tape. Put a strip of the cloth tape sticky side out around the top of your spool, then you place the two nails together (as one peg) on the tape at 12 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 6 o'clock and 9 o'clock, having the nail heads 1/2" above the rim of your spool. Cover that strip with another strip of cloth tape. Then you seal the top edge, and secure the nails in place by cutting strips of the 1" tape in half lengthwise and taping in between each nail set. That's it!

The instructions for the larger containers are essentially the same, except in placing the nail sets around the rim you will space them 5/8" apart. You may also cover your corker with felt or fabric to make it more decorative, if you wish.

This produces a really nice tube and each of the children are very excited about their progress. They all love how easy it is and have a plan for each of their projects. As I mentioned above, daughter plans to make a rope, younger son wants to make a snake (Yuck!), and middle son is planning on a pair of socks. :-)

The work you see here - each son is about halway down his tube in length, and daughter's is coming out the end - was done in the time since Dad came home from work. Not too bad. The best part about it for each of them is that they made it all themselves from things we have here (although I did have to run to the drugstore and get some more cloth tape!)

Here are a few links if you'd like to learn more or get started yourself in corking.

• How to Make a Corker (using a wooden spool)
• How to Use a Knitting Spool
• The Lost Art of Knitting Nancy's (lots of history as well as neat information here!)
• Spool Knitting Links from Needelepointers.com
• How to make a cute Bear

And of course, don't forget to look for this great book, Corking by Judy Ann Sadler, at your local library or bookstore!

Some extra information: If you don't knit, like me :-( then you can use this same principle to make a straight knitter, which is what I am going to do. History: I found some adorable specialty yarn on sale and had visions of knitting a cute something for daughter and granddaughter. Reality: It didn't work. At. All. But now I see that I can simply make a straight corker - a piece of 1x4 wood maybe 8" long with the nails/pegs evenly spaced along the top - and 'knit' some scarves that way. Yeah!! Besides, the children were telling me all evening to make my own because I kept asking them to let me try theirs "just for a minute" ;-)

I'll post a Tutorial on how to make the spool if anyone is interested or would like more information than the directions above.

Girl Finds Amazing Giant Dandelion!

Can you believe it?

This dandelion that daughter found in MY backyard yesterday is 19 inches long from base to tip!

I had NO idea that they could get that big.

Did you?

Malay Chicken Wings

Does the card above give you an indication of

• A.) How long I've had this recipe?
• B.) What a messy cook I am?
• C.) That this is one of our all-time favorite recipes?

YES to all of the above! If you can read the recipe, you'll notice that it uses two pounds of chicken wings, the half tray (8x6??) It has been years since I've made that amount! I used to double it when the boys got a bit older, then I tripled the sauce because everyone wanted extra sauce to put on their rice. For the past six months or so, even that wasn't enough and at the end of the meal everyone complained it was gone, or husband would ask the next day "Aren't there any leftovers?" So tonight, I sixtupled it - which means two large four+ lb. trays with plenty of extra sauce!! (Yes, for those in the know, the misspelling of sixtupled is intentional.) Wow! Even all my hungry boys can't fnish that!

So here is the basic recipe doubled, for those with the average family, because my husband could eat the single recipe by himself! But please know that you can halve it or even double this if your family is large enough!

Malay Chicken Wings

• 1 pkg. chicken wings (about 4.5 lbs. )
• 1/2 cup peanut butter - creamy or chunky, whichever you prefer
• 2 T. brown sugar
• 1 1/2 - 2 T. of curry powder
• 1/2 t. ground cumin
• 6 T each lime juice (or lemon) and soy sauce
• 5-6 cloves of garlic, minced or finely chopped (some grated ginger is also very good if you like ginger)

Cut chicken wings at the joints and discard tips. Rinse in strainer and set aside. In large bowl, mix all remaining ingredients until smooth. Stir in chicken to coat. At this point you can leave it to marinate in the fridge for overnight, for a few hours, or you may use it immediately.

To bake, set oven to broil. Spread chicken in large foil-lined pan (metal cookie sheet or baking pan) and broil chicken 4-6 inches from heat for 7-8 minutes, then turn chicken over and broil for 7-8 minutes more. Serve over rice and ENJOY!!

False Prophets: Yesterday and Today

Ezekiel 13: 1-16

And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, son of man, prophesy against the prophets of Israel that prophesy, and say thou unto them that prophesy out of their own hearts, Hear ye the word of the LORD; Thus saith the Lord GOD; woe unto the foolish prophets, that follow their own spirit, and have seen nothing!

O Israel, thy prophets are like the foxes in the deserts. Ye have not gone up into the gaps, neither made up the hedge for the house of Israel to stand in the battle in the day of the LORD.

They have seen vanity and lying, divination, saying, The LORD saith: and the LORD hath not sent them: and they have made others to hope that they would confirm the word. Have ye not seen a vain vision, and have ye not spoken a lying divination, whereas ye say, The LORD saith it; albeit I have not spoken?

Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; Because ye have spoken vanity, and seen lies, therefore, behold, I am against you, saith the Lord GOD. And mine hand shall be upon the prophets that see vanity, and that divine lies: they shall not be in the assembly of my people, neither shall they be written in the writing of the house of Israel, neither shall they enter into the land of Israel; and ye shall know that I am the Lord GOD.

Because, even because they have seduced my people, saying, Peace; and there was no peace; and one built up a wall, and, lo, others daubed it with untempered morter: Say unto them which daub it with untempered morter, that it shall fall: there shall be an overflowing shower; and ye, O great hailstones, shall fall; and a stormy wind shall rend it.

Lo, when the wall is fallen, shall it not be said unto you, Where is the daubing wherewith ye have daubed it? Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; I will even rend it with a stormy wind in my fury; and there shall be an overflowing shower in mine anger, and great hailstones in my fury to consume it.

So will I break down the wall that ye have daubed with untempered morter, and bring it down to the ground, so that the foundation thereof shall be discovered, and it shall fall, and ye shall be consumed in the midst thereof: and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

Thus will I accomplish my wrath upon the wall, and upon them that have daubed it with untempered morter, and will say unto you, The wall is no more, neither they that daubed it; to wit, the prophets of Israel which prophesy concerning Jerusalem, and which see visions of peace for her, and there is no peace, saith the Lord GOD.

Get Real Monday: The Outfit

When Randi announced the subject of this weeks Get Real, I didn't think I would participate. I'd have to dig through the garage to find my old photo album and then scan whatever photos I found - and the new scanner husband bought last year still hasn't made nice with me.

But as I was doing my Bible reading this morning, it occured to me that I could participate and there was an outfit that I would be ashamed of being caught in. Actually, a few of them.

I would like to never been seen dressed in:

• Impatience. The one that says "I'm busy" or "What do you want?" in that really ugly tone of voice, not only getting rid of the disturbance, but crushing the tender spirit in the process.
• Selfishness/Frustration. This one is all too common, unfortunately. Selfishness puts my desires and present wants above anything else and Frustration is its closest companion when those wants are interrupted or interferred with.
• Harshness. This is the harsh or grievous word that stirs up anger; the opposite of the "soft answer (that) turneth away wrath." Proverbs 15:1
• A Critical and Complaining spirit. I can so easily find fault and pick at each little detail that was/is not done properly, why can I not just as easily praise and find those things that were done well? I know that when I am dressed like this I certainly am NOT being obedient to the word of God. "Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights of the world; Holding forth the word of life;" Philippians 2:14-16

I pray that I may always be clothed in "a word fitly spoken" (Pr. 25:11), and in "Charity (love) (that) suffereth long, and is kind; (that) envieth not; (that) vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, (that) doth not behave itself unseemly, (that) seeketh not her own, (that) is not easily provoked, (that) thinketh no evil; (that) rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; (that) beareth all things, (that) believeth all things, (that) hopeth all things and endureth all things." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Above all, may I be clothed in wisdom and understanding, which begins with the fear of the LORD.

Conservatorship

The dictionary says that a conservator is "one who conserves or preserves from injury, violation, or infraction; protector. One who is responsible for the person and property of an incompetent." Wikipedia says that a conservator is "someone appointed by a court to manage the affairs or estate of a person who is deemed incapable due to reasons such as age or mental limitations."

A week from today I will go to court hoping that the judge will grant me Conservatorship over my oldest son, my angel. It's been a more emotional road than I thought it would be.

From the beginning I was his mother, he was my son, and I made all decisions concerning everything - that's that way it is and as his mother, that's the way it will always be, right? I was in La-La-Land. Nobody told me any different and so I kept believing that this was reality. Well, I was awakened one perfectly normal spring day last year. Nothing earth shattering. Nothing dramatic. Just a simple annual IEP. (Individualized Education Plan) All was going along as usual, each person presenting their report of my son and the areas they felt should be worked on for the year ahead. Then it came time to sign. A simple thing really. Just sign on the line, acknowledging that I, his mother, am in agreement with the IEP. Then it happened. The Director, a very sweet woman whom I had sat across from at every IEP for the past seven years, all of a sudden halts midway while handing me the pen. "Do you have Conservatorship of him?" "Umm . . . no," I answer with a puzzled look on my face. "Oh, then we'll need him to sign it." HUH?? They want my son to sign a legally binding document? My son, who although 19 at the time, has the mental capabilities of a 15 month old? You've got to be kidding me. Well, they weren't. So a pen is placed in his hand which he promptly tries to drop because he is tactile defensive. His arm is moved toward the paper, which is difficult because of his unexplainable, incredible strength. A mark is made. A mark which is now somehow proof that my son has given his legal consent and agreement to whatever happens to be written on these papers that he neither cares nothing for, nor can possibly understand. I was allowed to sign as a courtesy.

I had heard of conservatorship before, but only vaguely and usually as something adult children seek for their aging parents. Well, please believe that I went home and searched all over the internet to find out about Conservancies and Conservatorship. What I found and read made me even more upset. Appearantly, the usual time to start the process of a Conservatorship is when the child in question is 16-17 years old. This way all advance paperwork can be done and upon turning 18 the only thing left to do is simply go before the Judge for approval. If no Conservatorship is sought, and the disabled child/adult is a client of the Regional Center (for our state, this is the agency that oversees all disabled children and makes sure that they have whatever equipment or services are needed) then the Regional Center, by default, becomes the Conservator. My son has been a client of the Regional Center for over 18 years -- WHY has no one ever told me about this?

Long story a little shorter, I found an attorney who does nothing but Conservatorships for the disabled and after a short interview and a large check, the process of gaining Conservatorship over my son was begun. As I mentioned in My Angel, the process has not been hard, just emotionally draining.

First I had to deal with and get over what I saw as the stupidity of needing to prove that my son needed protecting. The state, California, presumes that anyone reaching the age of 18 years, regardless of a handicapping condition, is capable of exercising the rights of an adult. So, I need to go before a judge with evidence of my sons' inability to care for himself.

Another thing that caught me off guard were the reports on my son. Some reports, like the medical report from his doctor and the IEP from school, were full of all the technical lingo that is supposed to describe my son. Others, like the report from the Regional Center, brought me to tears because it affirmed everything I have done in mothering my special son and because of its recommendation that I be granted Conservatorship in every area: to decide his residence, to have access to all papers and records that concern him, to make all legal decisions for him, the right to decide if he may marry (a moot point, but one to have nonetheless), the right to authorize or withhold medical treatment, the right to control whom he comes in contact with, and to decide where and how he shall be educated. On the other hand, I realized that my tears were tears of frustration as well. If, as the report states, I am so very involved in his life and they recognize that all the decisions I've made have been in his best interest, then WHY do we need to go through all of this? My struggle is largely an internal one.

Will I feel differently next week? If/When I am granted Conservatorship, will it all be water under the bridge? Maybe. But I certainly know that once again my eyes have been opened to something that they never saw before - something I had never thought about. (Placing him in a care home was another experience that opened my eyes, but I'm not ready to share all of that yet.) I know that I am not as innocent anymore, not as trusting. I can no longer trust the institutions that are there to support my son or the people in those institutions to tell me what I need to know. I can no longer trust that I'm well-informed in all the issues that may involve or concern my son. Now, all things will be heard with a grain of salt until I can verify it for myself.

I have come out of La-La-Land.

In a way that is good, but in another way I think it is terribly sad.

A Productive Visit

Wow! Nothing like a trip away from home, with your sewing machine, to get things done!

A day long visit with friends was not only lots of fun, but very productive,too. I set up my sewing machine and we chatted while the children all played and I worked on a few of my projects.

*I was able to finish the last of the three dresses (pink one on right) as well as an extra dress (green) that I had started last spring along with this blue one! (see how bad I am?) I also got a tiered skirt finished for one of my grandaughters, the lovely Miss O!

*

And while all this sewing and chatting was going on, the little ones perched themselves up on this stepladder and made some cookies! Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip. YUMM!

They look delicious, don't they? Well, when they came out of the oven, everyone couldn't wait to taste one!

We all took a bite and - - - ewww - - - what's that? They were really, and I mean really, salty!

The older boys took up the investigation into what happened and come to find out that the little ones added 1/4 cup of salt instead of 1/4 teaspoon!!

Oh well, a lesson learned. Luckily, friend and I had picked up a bag of new Strawberry Milkshake Oreos when we were at the store earlier so we had something to fall back on. ;-)

All in all, a very good day - spent with friends - What could be better?

Oh, the Simple Pleasures

We took a holiday from school because of Dad's new job promotion and here is a photographic account of where the day has taken us.

We started off at JoAnn's for their sale . . . . .

. . and got some fabric to make a few things for my granddaughter (the adorable butterflies will be a dress with a pink band at the bottom and a matching hat with pink lining, the green floral will be a dress with matching hat, with the green stripe for the lining, and the blue will be a tiered skirt with the light blue as a tiered top! see patterns below) . . . .

. . . . and they had patterns on sale, too! I might have been able to resist but they were only 99 cents!! You know, of course, of my weakness.

And - while we were over at that side of town, we might as well stop in at a few of the thrift shops and see if there's anything new!

I was soooooo happy to find a lovely pitcher and large covered candy dish to add to my collection. What a treat! I was also able to find a small cruet with stopper, a tumbler, and a relish tray. All had for under $15 total!!

Then went home for lunch and chores.

Son is replanting some of our garden - cucumbers, tomatoes and eggplants, I think.

And daughter came outside to finish the little counted cross stitch she started yesterday.

It's so sweet -- both of her brothers have commented on what a great job she's doing. This is her first time doing counted cross stitch and after I helped her how to find the middle and count outward, she did the rest totally on her own. She's very pleased and ready to tackle something a little bigger!

Our dog-girl wanted a picture,too! She's a Corgi-mix that we were thrilled to find at the animal shelter last year as a second dog & companion for our little dog-boy, who is a Russell Terrier/Dachsund mix (another shelter find!)

That's it. The rest of the day will be spent ironing and in cleaning up my kitchen table - AGAIN!

Just Some Stuff

It's just been a day, or a few days as the case may be, and I have an hundred thoughts going around my head -- none of which will be still long enough for me to put some coherent words together for posting! So, I'll just post some of my random thoughts and hope they make at least a bit of sense.

I'm on the last stage of daughter's last dress (the pink one). Waist seam and four buttons are all that's left. Hopefully it will be done before the weekend!

I've been working on a cute poncho for my younger granddaughter, when it's done I'll get pictures.

Laundry has been my shadow for almost the past week and I'll be glad when the sun can shine freely on my washing machine again! (there's a metaphor in there somewhere, or is it a simile?, but I can't find it right now ;-)

I'm giving my mother a 70th birthday party this June and so that has taken a lot of my thoughts recently. It's been a little more stressful than I thought it would be, but in general all is going well. She finally gave me the guest list which put me into action on making the invitations! This is a rough draft, if you please. It's made with the Roses in Winter set from Stampin' Up!, which is not only beautiful but extremely versatile. This is the design I'll be using - I think I like the color combinations and the weight of the three roses on the bottom. It will be mounted on the blue cardstock at the top.

I've already made the RSVP cards, which are just the opposite of the invitation, almost. I printed them on the green cardstock at the bottom of the picture and mounted them on white cardstock stamped with the roses. When I'm all finished with them, I'll get a photo for posterity!

Our little garden outside is doing well, and not so well. The corn is taking hold and growing, as are the radishes and carrots, in spite of the fact that the dogs think the planter boxes are there for them to practice their hurdle jumps on! My cabbage is coming up beautifully, and the squash and peppers are, too. We need to re-plant the beans, though, and probably the eggplant.

For school, we've been learning about colonial history both for this country and Australia. We read about Jamestown colony today. A few weeks ago, we also borrowed the PBS series Colonial House and Frontier House from the library and had a great time watching them and talking about if we would be able to do that! Colonial would be a bit harsh for me - don't think I could do that. But Frontier House was totally something that we could see ourselves at - even though it would be incredibly hard work from sunrise till sundown. Then as an off-shoot of that, I checked out some books on pioneer/frontier history. They are all letters written by women of the time, to friends and family, describing their experiences. I've started one and I'm looking forward to reading the others as well. Here are some of the books I've discovered: Letters of a Woman Homesteader, Apron Full of Gold, Covered Wagon Women (a Series of 9 books), and Bachelor Bess. On a side note: we've been trying to do without lights in the evening at least a few times a week. As the sun goes down, we get out the candles and will have dinner or do chores, or read by candlelight. It's amazing even to the children that after a while they feel tired and ready for bed. We're all learning how the artificial time created by electric lights really affects us. If the lights are on and we stay busy, it can be 10:00 pm or later before anyone thinks of bed, but with the candles glowing we're all ready to get in bed before 9:00pm! It's pretty interesting.

Here's a picture of sweet little baby K that I made the blanket for. My niece sent it today, along with some great pictures taken with K's big brother! Isn't she irresistible?

I experimented this morning with our breakfast. I had lots of ripe bananas to use and was planning on Banana Bread, but have been having a hankering for Pumpkin Bread. What to do? Combine them of course! I compared the recipes and ended up doubling the Banana Bread recipe, except instead of using more bananas, I added an equal amount of pumpkin! There were some cranberries in the cupboard so they went in -- and husband doesn't think it's really a quick bread without nuts - in they went, too! What did we end up with? The most delicious Banana Pumpkin Cranberry Nut Bread!! Really! We all agreed that it was excellent - not too banana-y and not too pumkin-ny, either. The perfect blending of the two.

I think I've just gone over my allotted time --

Oh!! But I did want to point your attention up to the list on the right of Posts I've Enjoyed from other blogs. If you have a few minutes, check out some great writing and tips - at least ones that I found helpful for my own life.

May you be blessed today!