Life and other such banalities . . .

 .  .  .   .   .   .    in which I talk to myself and hopefully make some discoveries about life.

For the past few years I've felt like I was in a transition period.

So many things out of my control - I think that's the kicker there, control.  I had to no control over my husband retiring early (while we still had three children in school); no control over his decision to move; no control over my time when there was so much that had to be done and no one else to do it.  Now I have several new issues of control in my life and am really having to face the fact that I Have NO Control Over Things Outside of Myself.

Why do I feel in such transition?

Transition:  passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another :  a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another

This definition makes it clear that all of life is a transition - so why am I feeling particularly in a state of flux?  Why do I feel so out of control?

responsibility.  lack of responsibility.  I like to point the finger and note how others are not living up to their responsibilities, but as I stop and think, reflect, I can see that as a reaction to all of these outside forces - I have given up the responsibility of my own actions.  I've not done the basic things that I'm responsible for.  It's been so easy, comforting even, to be in the role of hapless victim, being swept along by things outside of herself; but that's a lie and a deception.  I feel out of control because I have given up control over myself.  I've given in to being the victim.  I've given in to being the abused wife, the overwhelmed and misunderstood  mother, the poor church-goer who is so consumed with her own problems that she has not reached out to help others with theirs, the friend who is so busy considering her miserable state that she neglects those who can help her out of it.  Selfish.  Utterly.  Abandoned to it.

(a pause while I cry and take this all in.  .  .  )

Control: : to direct the behavior of (a person or animal) : to cause (a person or animal) to do what you want  : to have power over (something)  : to direct the actions or function of (something) : to cause (something) to act or function in a certain way

This is the real illusion, I think.  We - I think that I should be able to control people and situations.  How can I?  I can't control something as simple as conversation at the dinner table, how in the world do I think I can control how my children spend their time or how my husband treats me and talks to me.  When I try to influence or direct things, it usually ends up making things worse.

So what can I do?  How can I get to a place where I don't feel like I'm in flux each week, each month?

If I can't control others - if I can't control situations - if it seems like I can't even control the way my day progresses, then WHAT Can I control?

Here's the hard part now:

I CAN control my thoughts - the things that my heart ponders in the quiet

I CAN control the words I speak

I CAN control my attitude - influenced by thinking on right and good things instead of dwelling on the bad

I CAN control the tone of my voice - a conscious choice every moment

I CAN control my actions - am I busy with a purpose or am I neglectful and lazy

I CAN control my time - Purpose to be profitable and have a goal

I think these are more than enough for me to take responsibility for.

Creating & Relaxed

It's been a really wonderful and fun few days of stamping with daughter.  We pulled all of our stamping stuff out of boxes - where they have been trapped in the dark for over a year - and got creative.

So relaxing to just sit and create - you have an idea, a picture, some colors, and you just let everything come together, using what you have, improvising, it's all part of the process.

I started off to make a set of cards as a "Thank You" for my aunt - but like any good, nearly harmless obsession, you really can't stop at just one.  And once the ideas were flowing it was like a restorative therapy - as a homeschool mom with a retired husband and sweet baby that I care for during the week, my time is never my own - and stamping these last few days was an isolated island of peace.

As I was going through all the boxes, I also found several unfinished projects that I was able to complete -

and remember when and why I had started them, and thankful that paper has no expiration date .  .  .  

it's ready to go whenever the urge to stamp and create sneaks up on you!

Beautiful Day

Once in a while a day comes along when the sun shines brightly, but not too brightly, and the little birds sing happily, flowers bloom, butterflies flutter gently by, and all is right with the world.

Yesterday was one of those days.

Sweet Pea was just as cute as could be, her chubby little 10 month legs crawling, stretching, and scooting throughout the house; her smile so big, showing off her new molar she's getting (poor baby!); and her new trick of shaking her head when you say almost anything to her.  As a result, we think up all kinds of questions where the answer is "No."  Could we ever forget about P?  Is there any baby cuter than P?  LOVE her!

I got to go shopping and hang out with H & R (two remaining children at home), and got to talk on the phone with college son, and hear him laugh and joke with his brother.  Happy medicine for any momma's heart.

I spent some time outside with Sweet P after H and I covered our little garden area with netting to prevent birdies from eating all our tender sprouts.  We sat on the lawn, she crawled around a bit until the grass was too much for her little legs, then she came back to me to stand up against.  She gave me kisses - leaned toward me and smacked her lips - told me all kinds of stories, ma-ma-ma-ba-da-da-ba-ma, and held on to my dangly earrings - until she held a little to firmly and I would tell her no, be gentle.  It was wonderful.  Really looking forward to having grandchildren!

R and I went out front with Sweet P and the dogs later in the afternoon so I could weed (yucky goats' head clover) the lawn while we waited for P's Mama to arrive.  P was all over the place.  Grass, cement, it didn't matter.  Certainly not a fussy baby who can be contained within the borders of a blanket laid on the lawn!

Then with some time alone, R and I decided to stamp.  Got out our supplies from the boxes where they are still packed, looked on Pinterest for some inspiration, and then got creative!  Ended up stamping until nearly midnight - with a small break to make dinner for husband - and got almost four sets of cards made/finished.  It was so much fun!

And the verses I read this morning complete the day perfectly:

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: 

he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul:;

he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

 I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; 

thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me

 in the presence of mine enemies: 

thou anointest my head with oil; 

my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: 

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Psalm 23

Grandma

The baby on Daddy's lap

Graduation photo

A momma with two little ones

Proud momma with her family

Retired and enjoying life

Iconic last photo of Grandma on the farm.  Everyone in the family knows and loves this photo.

Five years ago today I said my final goodbye to my Grandma.  My last Grandma.  Held her hand, kissed her cheek, told her that I loved her one last time. But she was already gone.

My cousin and I had been staying at her side after a severe stroke left her paralyzed and her wish to die naturally meant that we had only a few days.  So many emotions.  The children and I had been camping out at my mother's for several days when I finally had to go home and take care of some business.  Twelve hours before I had planned on making the trip back, I got the phone call that she was going.  It is a three hour trip. Chances were not good that I would make it in time.  But I tried.  I was too late.

After the rest of the family had left, it was down to my cousin and I and Grandma once again.  We shared memories and waited for the funeral home to come.  We waited and watched while they did their job.  And then it was just quiet again.

The funeral would be several days away, so it was back home for us.  Laundry and school and planning and phone calls.  At her funeral, the children and I sang an old hymn Sweetly Resting.  I think Grandma would have liked it.  She was a very quiet woman, just as her parents were.  I think that quietness skipped her children and landed squarely on me.  But she was always there, always busy and doing and creating and tending.  Loving in the way that was most comfortable to her.

(I originally posted Sweetly Resting exactly one year before my Grandma passed away - a fact I didn't realize until several days after her funeral.)

Simple Daybook ~ 20 March, 2013

FOR TODAY

Outside my window... a cloudy sky, a beautiful flowering bush, and two mockingbirds doing some kind of dance on the garage roof next door

I am thinking... about how many things have changed in just a few years, mostly me, and how some of those changes are good, and some not so much

I am thankful... for my children and the smile they bring to my face with each thought of them and remembrances of times past

In the kitchen... a turkey is in store for us today

I am wearing... skirt, snowman sweatshirt jacket, and pajama top ;-)

I am creating... dishcloths that I started knitting on recent trip to Oregon

I am going... nowhere, in more ways than one

I am wondering... how to make each moment last as long as possible

I am reading... The Hobbit

I am hoping... for complete renewal and revival in my heart and my children's

I am looking forward to... getting our garden beds ready to plant

I am learning ...  just how deceptive our hearts (my heart) can be

Around the house ...  need to sweep and keep the floors clean now that little P is crawling

A favorite quote for today... Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.  Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, love them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.

One of my favorite things... An open window with the sun coming through

A few plans for the rest of the week: work on garden beds, get family ready for new flooring, cook, bake bread and a cake, watch my attitude

The Simple Woman's Daybook

Welcome Home: Front Porch

The front porch and lawn is a work in progress - I evaluate it every now and then to see what can be added or what needs to be cleaned up to make it more welcoming.
One great addition to our walkway was this beautiful bench that husband made out of redwood logs.  Rustic yet comfortable and unique.  Looking forward to adding some plants and herbs around the bench  for a more natural look as well as a more sensory experience whilst sitting and visiting.

Getting Established

The weather has been just lovely here for almost a month - beautiful sunny days with just enough rain to get everything growing.  It has been wonderful to see our transplants from the move taking hold and growing in their new home ~

The strawberries are growing wonderfully, with so many new leaves and shoots.  Looking forward to watching the scrumptious fruit develop!

Lavendar and rosemary planted in front - it will soon fill this space physically and with its' heady fragrance.

The long neglected roses in front are growing and blooming - such a joy to watch each flower unfold.

Geraniums.  Somehow geraniums have become a symbol of home for me.  Many years ago when we volunteered at our county fair, we were able to take the donated plants after the fair was over.  Several geraniums came home with us.  What most endeared them to me is that they pretty much take care of themselves - they can withstand a lot of ignoring and with just a bit of care give you beautiful color and greenery.  Now they are a favorite of mine and this one was recently planted out by the mailbox, ready to announce to all that this place is a 'home.'

 For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;  The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle (dove) is heard in our land;

Song of Solomon  2:11-12

A Fresh Start

A new home means a new garden.  We are blessed with a couple of great spaces and have a variety of options.  Daughter and I decided to go with some "garden boxes" on the side of our home - nice open space and gets great sunlight throughout the day.  We're not going to do a traditional garden box - build a box frame, add dirt to fill, and then plant.  I don't want to have to buy a lot of dirt or soil, would like to make do with as much of what we have as possible.  We'll add a vinyl picket fence across the yard here so that the garden is a little more protected from roaming neighborhood critters, a.k.a. cats, dogs, and bunnies!

After staking out where our first few boxes were going to be, I set the hose out and watered the area really well to make de-grassing easier!

Daughter and I were able to pull the grass on about half of the box area before we both decided to call it quits.  Within an hour, a few of our escaping chickens had found the freshly dug dirt and were scratching in it.  Hopefully they didn't get many of the wonderful worms that were there!  It's really good soil and glad to see that it was so full of worms - great for the garden!  We'll also be adding a fence across the back of this space to keep out wayward chickens!! 

(The red 2x4's are laid out as guidelines to make sure we are cutting our boxes straight.)

So many seedlings!  I'm abundantly blessed with a friend who is a seed distributor and for a small postage donation, she sent me a box FULL of 'last year's' seeds.  Oh the variety!  And it is so much fun to watch everything sprout and grow.  But .  .  .  all these growing plants need a place to be planted!  So we've got to get busy and get those boxes ready -

I'm really looking forward to gardening this year - maybe because it is our first year in our last house;
maybe because I want to create a strong bond with daughter who loves plants and outdoors and growing things;
maybe because I am enamored with the peaceful ideal of a green, colorful, growing garden, walking amongst the rows in apron and bonnet, gathering the harvest to preserve and share;
maybe because I've always wanted to have a garden but have never really had the time or space to do it properly;
maybe because I want to continue the legacy of gardening and being outdoors that I witnessed with my grandparents - so that when grandchildren are here they can be "out in the garden" with grandma (me!);
 maybe because I love the idea of being self-sufficient and doing as much on my own as possible;
and finally, maybe it's for all these reasons.

The earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof

Psalm 24:1

Super Easy Laundry Detergent

We have made our own laundry detergent in the past - see Science in Action - and happily used it for a few years.  But somewhere along the way, in the busyness of life and schooling, it was simply easier to go to the store and buy a jug of detergent.

Then along comes Pinterest.

Daughter and I saw a Pin with a beautiful picture of homemade powdered laundry detergent in a big glass jar.  Functional AND Decorative!  Definitely worth a look see!

Now, to prove how easy the recipe is, I had looked at the post twice but didn't write anything down.  Several days went by and I kept thinking how I really wanted to give that a try;  ended up at the store yesterday and I was able to quickly remember the items needed, and at the Mart, they were all within a few feet of each other on the shelf.

The original post said it was under $20 to make.  Let's compare that to my receipt:

2 bars Fels Naptha soap, 0.97 each = $1.94
OxyClean (48 oz) = $9.47
Borax (76 oz)  = $3.38
Washing Soda (55 oz) = $3.24
Baking Soda (4 lb) = $2.24
which equals $20.27
I also opted to add the laundry crystals for another $4.76 bringing the grand total to $25.03

The original site said that she does about eight loads a week and this amount lasted her for nine months.  If mine lasts for nine months, then my detergent costs will be $2.78 a month for over thirty loads of laundry!

Not bad!!

Plus I had the excuse to buy one of these great oversize glass canisters that I've always wanted but never known what I would do with it - It holds this full recipe very attractively!

See original post here: http://beingcreativetokeepmysanity.blogspot.com/2010/11/homemade-laundry-soap.html

Blessed

Dear son is home from college.
It was such a treat to see him last night, hear his voice and watch him interact with his brother and sister, touch his arm and kiss the top of his head, see his smile and look in his eyes.

Listened to him play the piano for a bit this morning and my heart was overcome; all those years of lessons and practice and money and recitals and frustration when he didn't want to play or practice -  it all spilled out into the joyous blessing that he now has chosen the piano and music as his life's work.

Moments shared while cutting his hair, words of understanding, love, and encouragement.  Precious.

Sleep

sleep

i need sleep

laying down in quiet darkness;  protected from the world outside and turmoil within

soft pillow and softer blanket reaching out for me, beckoning, promising peace, a respite from toil and strife

but it is not to be

moments after my head has found its niche in the softness of my pillow, and the blanket has enveloped me within its folds

i'm starting to feel secure - 

i am hit with a weapon of flame, there is no escape

turmoil startles me and peace flees

arrows, without thought, are being flung at me

stealing my security and stirring up thoughts that will keep me from

sleep

i need sleep

Complete in Thee

Complete in Thee, no work of mine
may take, dear Lord, the place of Thine
Thy blood hath pardon bought for me
and I am now complete in Thee

Yea justified! O blessed thought!
And sanctified!  Salvation wrought!
Thy blood hath pardon bought for me
and glorified I too shall be!

Complete in Thee, no more shall sin
Thy grace hath conquered, reign within
Thy voice shall bid the tempter flee
and I shall stand complete in Thee

Yea justified! O blessed thought!
And sanctified!  Salvation wrought!
Thy blood hath pardon bought for me
and glorified I too shall be!

Complete in Thee, each want supplied
and no good thing to me denied
since Thou my portion, Lord, wilt be
I ask no more complete in Thee

Yea justified! O blessed thought!
And sanctified!  Salvation wrought!
Thy blood hath pardon bought for me
and glorified I too shall be!

Dear Savior when before Thy bar
all tribes and tongues assembled are
among Thy chosen will I be
at Thy right hand complete in Thee

Yea justified! O blessed thought!
And sanctified!  Salvation wrought!
Thy blood hath pardon bought for me
and glorified I too shall be!

lyrics by Aaron Robarts Wolfe (1821-1902)
chorus by James Martin Gray (1851-1935)

God of Heaven

God of Heaven
God of all the earth and sky
Great Creator
Master of all nature
Who gives birth to snow from heaven
  holds the waves at ocean's edge
  gives the orders to the morning
  shows each dawn its place to shine
God of Heaven
God of all the earth and sky

God of Ages
God who wrote the Book of Time
Sovereign Ruler
Alpha and Omega
Saints before he's guided safely
  history's pages signed by him
  author of our days and hours
  things to come are held secure
God of Ages
Alpha and Omega

God of Power
God who breaks the darkness
Righteous warrior
Champion of his children
Goes before us into battle
  good and evil bow to him
  those in bondage freed forever
  victories won at his command

God who Heals us
God who gives us Peace and Hope
God who listens
Carries all our fragile
  dreams and heartaches
  wins and failures
  binds the broken
  hides the weak
  new beginnings freely offered
Who can make us whole again
God who Heals us
    God of Power
        God of Ages
            God of Heaven
                God of all the Earth and Sky

Mother's Heart Overflowing

Love this sweet picture of my two oldest sons.  Jared, rightful firstborn, born with Angelman syndrome and severely developmentally delayed as a result.  Jackson, firstborn in every other sense of the word.  When Jackson was a baby I would place him on Jared's lap.  Now that they are the same size, Jared loves to lay on his brother's lap.

I am so touched by the tenderness of this 18 year old for his 25 year old brother who will never grow up.  And I'm brought to tears that Jared seeks out Jackson.

I wonder if he remembers that little baby?  :-)

Life in the Flesh

The past four Sunday evening services at church have been spent going through the study "Living the Exchange".

Tonight's message from our Pastor was so FULL of cleansing truth.

Life in the Flesh:

When we give in to sin it becomes easier to give in next time and harder to do what is right.  Why?

Mt. 26:41  Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, 

but the flesh is weak.

Rom. 8:3  For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, 

God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, 

and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh.

Is God unable to hear us or save us?  What is the problem?

Is. 59:1-2  Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save;

neither his ear heavy that is cannot hear:  

But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, 

and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.

What causes the Lord to not hear us?

Ps. 66:18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.

 We rebel in one area of our lives and expect the other areas to run smoothly.  

The World:

1 John 2:16  For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, 

and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, 

is not of the Father, but is of the world.

What does God call it when we try to maintain our relationship with the flesh?

James 4:4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world 

is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

Rom. 8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: 

for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

1 Cor. 6:13-17  Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them.  Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord: and the Lord for the body.  And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power.  Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ?  shall I then take the members of Christ and make them the members of an harlot?  God forbid.  What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.  But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.  

Rom. 8:13  For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: 

but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.

We can be separated from God - still have our salvation but no relationship because of sin in our life.

Lust of the Eyes - Materialism

Does the Bible say being rich is wrong?

1 Tim. 6:9-10  But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, 

and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.  

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, 

they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many arrows.

Who are we to avoid?

1 Cor. 5:11  But now I have written unto you not to keep company, 

if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, 

or a railer, of a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

Eph. 5:3  But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, 

let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints.

1 John speaks repeatedly regarding habitual sin in our lives = an unbeliever

Lust of the eyes includes living outside of our means and not being content with the things that we have.

Pride of Life

can include cutting down others to make yourself look/feel better, refusing to forgive

What does the Bible say on bitterness/unforgiveness?

Heb.  12:15-16  Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;  Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. 

Romans 1-3 teaches that the flesh is wicked

Romans 4-5 teaches of justification through Christ

Romans 6,8 speak of sanctification (continued salvation), becoming holy, sanctified, is dependent upon the work of Christ in our lives

Romans 7 a a reminder of the war between the flesh and the spirit

Jn. 15:5  I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. 

Rom. 7:18-24   For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.  For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.  Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.  I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.  For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:  But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.  O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 

Does any good thing reside in the flesh?  NO!
Can the flesh help me do what is right?  NO!
Can the flesh be profitable for sanctification?  NO! 

Rom. 8:5  For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

Rom. 7:25  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

Can we be saved through works?

Tit. 3:5   Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Are we going to continue working through the flesh?

Gal. 3:3  Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh? 

Carnal = Not subject to God's law = Death

What about the man who depends on himself?

Jer. 17:5  Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.

What happens to works done in the flesh?

1 Cor. 3:11-15  For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.  Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;  Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.  If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.  If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire. 

What of Bible teaching done in the flesh? 

2 Cor. 3:6  Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life. 

Anything not done in the Lord is what?

Rom. 14:23b  for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

Why would the Lord leave us in these frail human bodies?

2 Cor. 4:7  But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

December 2011: Gingerbread Houses!

We have never made gingerbread houses before - hard to believe, I know!  Well, daughter and I spotted some cute kits at the grocery store and decided that this year was the year to make our first gingerbread house.  And of course we had to buy one for everyone  :-)

Harrison laying everything out and getting ready -

The kits came with a wide assortment of candies - so much fun!

Rachel doing a beautiful job in spite of her cast ~

I think Harrison made Eve from Wall-E as his snowman - lol!

Beautiful girl and beautiful house!

Great job!

This is Jackson's house.  He and I made ours a few days later.  Notice the gingerbread man and the snowman are holding croquet mallets -

Here are the rings for the ball to go through -

And he even made a little cheering section of gumdrop minions!  :-)  I think they're my favorite part.

While croquet was happening out front, no one noticed that the fire got out of control and now the chimney is on FIRE!!

My simple house - lots of rainbow colors, and lots of candy everywhere!

I think I'm the only one who used all of the candy that came with the kit.  And I love the way my little tree turned out.  Frosted the cookie and then dipped it in green sugar sprinkles.

My gumdrop roof with colored sprinkles and a light dusting of powdered sugar.  LOVE it!

We will definitely have to do this again next year!

An Unwanted Journey

Life moves along at a steady pace and after days and weeks and months and years of a certain pattern, I got lulled into thinking the pattern of our days would continue on the same way.

What a rude awakening I had when that rhythm was interrupted. Not by some disaster, nor anything traumatic. It was a simple decision by my husband to stop paying our mortgage in January of last year. Quietly done, yet after a few months irreversible, and the constant phone calls were a very noisy reminder of that decision. My name was on our mortgage, yet this was done against my wishes and I had no choice in how things would proceed.

Six months later, my husband announced that since we would be losing our home, he had decided to go ahead and retire from work at the end of the year. He is many years older than I am and I knew of his desire to stop working, but I had always hoped he would wait until retirement age, 65, when our children, or at least our middle two, were graduated from our homeschool. Instead, he would retire with a 17, 16, and 13 year old still home to school and support. Again, I had no voice in this decision.

The final blow came when I was warned that with our home being foreclosed on and his retirement approaching, I ought to prepare myself for a move back to our home town at the beginning of next year, 2012. No asking how I felt or what I thought.

To be fair, I must say that this was always our plan. We had moved here for his job, a move that I did not want to make then - leaving home, family, and everything I had ever known - to move to a strange place where I knew no one. And yet in so many ways this became home. Our daughter was born here. We made wonderful, lifelong homeschool friends here. Our children grew up here, with all of their memories of home based here, in this place that I didn't want to come. And finally, in our eleventh year here, we found a church, a body of believers to join. With love, fellowship, encouragement, and a beautiful Christian example they became our family. And now what had once been part of the plan was something unwanted. Something disrupting. Something to be dreaded.

My only real choice was: would I live out my faith in Christ as Savior and Ruler of all, or would I give in to the sadness, anger, and bitterness that seemed so natural.

Vintage China

center plate: Homer Laughlin China, Dresden N1679

dinner plate: Edwin Knowles China, KNO242

I think they go beautifully together and was so happy to find the Knowles set to expand my Laughlin collection!

Eighteen

So proud of this young man .   .   .   .  

He's grown so much and has been
blessed with true godly mentors .   .   . 

 

 Can't wait to see how he chooses to 

honor the Lord in these next few years .   .   .  

Thanksgiving Duet

We had the pleasure of going to my aunt's house to spend Thanksgiving with my mom, something that I haven't done since I was married 20+ years ago.  So blessed to visit with cousins and hear my mom's laughter mingle with her sister's.  They are always up to something!

I also love to see my aunt's table set, since she has the same Wexford glass pattern that I collect, along with a beautiful set of Laughlin china.  I  haven't really gotten to use more than my drinking glasses, and I love to see the different pieces she has, imagining how lovely my own table - Lord willing in our new home soon - will look when it is set with my own glass dishes and china
.

After dinner, my aunt talked Jackson into trying a duet with her.  She has been the church pianist for decades, and he is a talented piano player who is looking to go into Church Music as his career/ministry.  The perfect pair.  : -)  She had a variety of music to choose from and they were able to play several songs together with some success!

I think this is my favorite picture of the day -